Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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