Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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