just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
