I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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