As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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