i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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