Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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