Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
