I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
