On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
that's an acceptable place to lick
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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