yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
