I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize