But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize