I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My dad is sitting where you rode me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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