i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
