I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
