You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can I color on your dick again?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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