Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
