I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I deserve this hangover.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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