YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
