JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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