WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
