turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
