If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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