apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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