I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
