i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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