Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
