i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
