They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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