did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
