So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The adults are the big ones right?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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