how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
