I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
