you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
