Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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