what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
