I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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