Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Everyone says I win the strip club
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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