i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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