When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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