he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
