when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
