so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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