she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have fence marks all over my body
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
