how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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