If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
