I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
