Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
