If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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