I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
is that a dick in a sweater?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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