i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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