So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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