yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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