I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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