is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
