I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
