you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
