Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
