How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
