We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
